Beth What Can I Do
by glorifiedgleek
Summary: Puck deals with the regrets of giving his daughter up for adoption. That coupled with his developing crush for his guidance counselor Emma and the stress of having to re-audition for glee is making his life harder and harder.
1. Chapter 1

"Hi Ms. P," Puck said as he walked into Emma's office for counseling. He had been coming to see her once a day for a couple weeks now.

"Hi Noah," Emma said as Puck took his seat across from her. Emma has always called Puck by his real name, Noah. She never really cared for nicknames. It went back to her childhood and how everyone at school used to call her Dairy because of her dairy farm accident.

"So what can I do for you today?"

"It still hurts Ms. P. I still miss my daughter," he said frustrated. The adoption had hit him hard. Not at first, but gradually Puck had began longing for his little girl. And it was made even more painful by the fact that Shelby Corcoran, the ex-Vocal Adrenaline coach and adoptive mother of Beth had asked for a closed adoption and wanted Beth nowhere near him or Quinn. She wanted to be the only parent she would ever know.

"It's all my fault Ms. P," Puck said choking up. "If I would have just treated Quinn better. If I had not let my little girl go so easily," he busted out into sobs on top of Emma's desk, his arm actually separating his forehead from the desk.

Emma stared at him bewildered, not knowing what to do. Before her therapy, she would have probably wigged out at the thought of all the germs Puck was surely leaving on her desk. But now, she just felt bad for him. She had no idea of what he must be going through. And Shelby happened to not be one of her favorite people anyway.

She slowly got up from her chair and walked toward Puck. She placed a soothing hand on his back.

"It's okay Puck," as she began to rub gently. He had never broken down like this before. "Puck, what happened? Why are you this upset?"

Puck raised his head and talked through his sobs. "I never wanted to be my dad," he said. "I mean, yes I wanted to be the ladies man like him and I wanted to be well known like him as well, but I never wanted to run out on my own kid."

"You didn't do that Puck."

"Didn't I? I looked at Beth. I held her. I loved her, but I didn't fight for her. I just went along with Quinn and-and I didn't step up. I didn't be a man."

"Where is all this coming from?" Emma asked as she walked back to her desk.

"My mom. She got really mad at me yesterday. She said I was just like my father."

"Hmm," said Emma. She took a deep breath and placed a hand on Puck's arm. "You are not like your father. Your father ran out on you, your sister, and your mom without even thinking of how that would hurt any of you. He only thought of himself. When you gave up Beth, you knew she would be taken care of. You knew she would be with someone who could love her. You only thought of her. That's what makes the two of you different."

Puck raised up in his seat. He wiped away his tears and said, "Thank you Ms. P. You really do give the best guidance."

"It's part of my job," she laughed.

Puck laughed too. "Thank you again," he said as he walked to the door.

"Same time tomorrow," Emma asked jokingly.

"Sure," Puck chuckled. "I wouldn't miss it."

* * *

"What?" yelled Puck in glee club later that day.

"I'm sorry Puck," said Mr. Schue. "You and Artie have to re-audition."

"This is bogus."

"I'm sorry, but Sue doesn't like our 'everyone who auditions gets in' policy. Figgins backs her up on it. Her being the one to convince him to give glee another year has a lot of sway now. There's nothing I can do."

"But why me? Why not Finn or Mike or Matt?" he looked at each of them narrow-eyed

."Look Puck, once again I'm sorry about this, but if your audition is good enough, you'll have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, and you think I'm excited about this," Artie chimed in.

Puck gave Artie a cross look and then stormed out of the practice.

"Everyone just has to understand," Puck heard Will say on his way out. "He's just having a hard time right now."

* * *

Puck walked out of glee club and planned to keep walking and to never look back. He felt like his whole world was crashing in on him. He was almost at the exit when he walked by Emma's office.

Her lights were still on. _She's still here_. He pressed himself to the wall by her door and then slowly peered his head in.

There she was. Her back was toward him and she had her nose in her file cabinet feverishly looking for a specific file he gathered. But not only that, she was humming. _God she has a beautiful voice_, he thought. Then he brought his head back, away from sight. He put his hand on his forehead and mentally scolded himself for thinking such a thing. _She is a teacher for crying out loud_..._ Darn my love for cougars_...

But then an amusing thought came to mind. _Well at least I'm not pissed about this re-auditioning garbage anymore_. He walked out of the school more optimistic than ever.

_Sorry Artie, but if it's between me or you, you're going down_. _And I mean so down_. _Even lower than you already are_.

* * *

"I'm sorry Noah," his mom welcomed him when he got home with those words and a hug. "I shouldn't have said what I said about you and your daughter. I know you did the right thing. You are nothing like your father."

"Thanks mom," was all he could say. Any emotional reaction to hearing those words had been used up when Emma had pretty much said them earlier. It was still nice to hear his mom say it though.

"I guess I'll never forget to take out the trash again," he laughed. Which had been the start of the argument.

His mom gave him another hug, relieved that they could now joke about the incident. That was always the sign that Noah had truly let it go. "Come eat dinner," she said. "I made your favorite. You're sister is already at the table..." she trailed off as she walked toward the kitchen. Puck followed shortly behind.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi Noah," Emma greeted Puck as he walked into her office.

"Back to Noah, huh," he asked as he took his usual seat.

Emma gave a perplexed look.

"Yesterday," he explained. "You called me Puck."

Emma searched her brain for a moment than said, "Oh yeah. I guess when I was comforting you, that's just what slipped out."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I like when you call me Puck. It makes me feel like we're close." He then felt awkward so he added, "That's what anyone calls me, Puck. Not just you of course."

"No, it's just that I don't really like nicknames."

"Why not?"

Not wanting to bring up her past, she said, "Okay, that's fine. Puck sounds good. So how can I help you today?"

"Well I don't have anything stressful today."

"Oh, so you just came to see me then," Emma laughed.

Puck laughed as well. But it felt awkward to him now. He was more forcing himself to laugh more than anything else. _I never noticed what a nice laugh she has though_..._Oh boy_.

"Ms. P I gotta go."

"Already? You really did come just to see me then."

He smiled as he left her office.

* * *

"Puck."

He heard someone call him as he walked to his next class. He could recognize Finn's voice from anywhere. "Hey man." He said as he stopped walking and waited for Finn to catch up.

"Look man, it's messed up about the whole re-auditioning thing," Finn said when he finally caught up.

"Don't sweat it dude," Puck said as they started walking again. "I got this. No way I'm leaving glee."

"Look, I know that you and I have had our ups and downs, but the past is the past right?" Finn asked offering an olive branch.

"Yeah," said Puck. "I mean, how could we let a girl come between us? We're bros."

"Exactly."

"And you know man, you can talk to me about anything."

"What do you mean," asked Puck.

"Rachel told me about her mom. How Shelby is shutting you out of Beth's life."

Puck paused. "Oh that? That's no big deal."

"Puck, you know I just said you could talk to me about anything, right."

"Yeah I heard you," Puck said annoyed. "That doesn't mean I will."

Puck turned around and started walking in the opposite direction of where him and Finn were headed. "Where are you going?" Asked Finn.

"I forgot something," He yelled, not looking back.

* * *

"Puck, you're back," Emma looked startled when he walked into her office again.

_She called me Puck_... "Actually Ms. P I do have something to talk about."

"Have a seat."

* * *

"So now Finn knows. The whole glee club probably does. I heard Mr. Schue saying something about knowing I was going through a tough time now. You wouldn't have told him would you Ms. P?"

Emma took a deep breath taking in everything Puck had just told her. It was hard not to feel sorry for the kid. Struggling with an adoption was tough, but it would be even tougher, she imagined if everyone around you was pitying you and feeling sorry for you.

"No," said Emma answering his question. "Me and Will aren't on the best of terms anymore, but even if we were, anything that is said between me and any of my students is confidential. You know that Noah."

"Puck."

"Right. How does Quinn feel about everything? You said that she was the one to make the decision for adoption, but how is she dealing with it all now?"

"I don't know," said Puck.

"Why not?"

"We're not close Ms. P. We never were actually. That's the problem."

"Well maybe it's time to solve it," said Emma. "You should talk to her. It could do you and possibly her as a world of good."

Puck meditated on the suggestion for a moment. Then he stood up. "Thank you Ms. P. Can you write me a note? I sort of ditched class to come see you."

"Sure," Emma smiled.

After Puck received the note, he walked to the door. He put his hand on the handle than paused. He looked back and said, "Ya know? I was having a great day today. Everything was smooth sailing. Then someone brings up Beth and all that goes out the window."

"That's why you still need me Puck. And I'll be here for as long as you do."

Puck smiled and then left for class.

* * *

**This will be the last chapter if I don't get any reviews.(;**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, so there are people out there reading this.(=**

* * *

"Hey Quinn," Puck said pulling Quinn aside before glee club practice. "Can we talk?"

"About what?"Quinn asked annoyed. "The baby is gone. We have nothing else to talk about, ever."

That comment had some truth to it. The baby was always the only reason why Quinn and him even felt it courteous to say hi to each other.

"That's what I want to talk to you about. The baby," he whispered.

Quinn opened her mouth to speak again, but was cut off when Mr. Schue came in, announcing the beginning of practice.

She looked at Mr. Schue as he spoke and then she turned back to Puck. "We'll talk later," she said and then she took her seat along with the rest of the glee kids.

Puck let out a breath of relief and then followed suit.

"Puck, it's so nice of you to join us," Will said jokingly as Puck took his seat. "After you stormed out yesterday, I was afraid you had quit."

"Not a chance Mr. Schue," Puck said with a smug grin. "The only way I'm leaving is if you kick me out, which is not gonna happen." He looked down at Artie. "Sorry Artie." Artie gave a smug look back.

"Well that's good to hear," said Will. "Your re-audition is Tuesday. Artie, as you know, yours is Monday."

"I'll be prepared Mr. Schue," Artie said with a confident smile.

"Alright then," said Will let's move on to today's lesson.

* * *

After practice was over, all the club members scrambled out. Quinn stayed behind and called out to Puck. "Can you give us a moment Mr. Schue?" she asked.

"Sure," Will said. "I think I have to talk to Ms. Pillsbury about something anyway."

"I thought you guys weren't that close anymore," Puck interjected. "You know, with Dr. Howell and everything."

Will gave Puck a confused look. "Not that I'm prying or anything," Puck tried to add.

"Yes, me and Ms. Pillsbury might not be as close as we used to be," said Will. "But I do still go to her for advice. Her being the guidance counselor and all," he teased. He patted Puck on the shoulder and then left to give Puck and Quinn their privacy.

"Why do you care so much about Ms. Pillsbury and Mr. Schue?" Asked Quinn.

"I don't," Puck said defensively.

"Okay then," Quinn rolled her eyes. "What about Beth did you want to talk to me about?"

"Oh right, Beth," Puck said. He paused for a moment. "Do you ever regret giving her up?"

Quinn pondered the thought. She took a seat on the choir bench. "Why do you ask that?"

"Because I do," Puck took a seat next to Quinn. "I regret it almost everyday. And to be honest, I kind of blame you for me having to give her up."

"You signed the papers just as clear as I did."

"Yeah, because I was going along with you. I asked you, when we went down to the nursery to see her if you wanted to keep her. And you said no."

"Yeah I said no," said Quinn. "And you said you loved me for it."

Puck paused. "We together made the decision to give her up. It was the right decision."

"Yeah, well why does it feel so wrong," Puck stood up. "Ms. Corcoran won't even let us see her."

"That's how a closed adoption works."

"But we live in the same town. It just doesn't seem right."

Quinn walked over to Puck and put her hands on his shoulders. "I don't know," she said. But Shelby is doing what she thinks is right. Maybe you should talk to someone. Maybe Ms. Pillsbury can help you with your issues."

Puck rolled his eyes.

* * *

_What a waste of time_ Puck thought walking home. _But I got to put that aside_._ I have to focus on my re-audition_. _I only have 6 days to waste Artie_.

"Noah."

Puck rolled his eyes and turned around. Only one person under the age of 30 called him Noah. "What do you want Rachel?"

Puck and Rachel were never really close either and Shelby being her mother kind of made him resent her.

"Look Noah I'm sorry about what my mom...Shelby did." she said as she caught up.

"Really, you are, are you? I guess Beth will know how you feel someday. Shelby is basically doing to me and Quinn what your parents did to her."

"I know you hate her."

"That's an understatement."

"As I was saying," said Rachel. "I know you hate her, but my her not being a part of my life turned out to be a good thing. I was raised by two parents that love me."

"So, you admit that she's a bad influence then?"

"I'm saying that at the time, she wasn't suitable to be a parent. She didn't even want to be one. Sort of like you and Quinn."

Puck scuffed. "Did Finn ask you to talk to me or something?"

"No. Everyone is worried about you."

"Yeah, because you told everyone. You just can't keep your mouth shut Rachel. You were the one who told all of us about Mr. Schue and Ms. P's hallway make out.

"What does that have to do with this?"

"Nothing," Puck backtracked.

"Just let me help you with your re-audition. It could be an I'm sorry gift," she gave Puck the puppy eyes.

He stared at her narrow eyed.


End file.
